New insults last added on
*** Topic for #irchelp: Ask any IRC questions, visit www.irchelp.org or /msg
ai- help
Most users come to the channel with serious technical difficulties.
<mike_b> I am needing to know how to make the letters of the peoples
names who are on the channel smaller. I hit something and now
the letter "A" is about 1 1/2 to 2 inches large. Help!!
Please. Thanks.
Having heard of the channels legendary wisdom, the helpers are expected to
answer questions of all fields.
<Henri> I need the telephone of Gordon L. Anderson,Aurora,Ill.
Though most of the questions are from the wide field of computing.
<nataS> hersey: My wave-file is not working.....I have had a problem
with it for a long time now!!!! When I start the Windows the
wave file playing Dudududududududududududu all the time
without stopping....What should I do??
Especially in this day and age of constant IRC abuse.
*** Oluf (Oluf@pcteol36.uio.no) has joined channel #irchelp
<Oluf> what is "nuking"?
<Meflin> its bugs in the TCP/IP program in your operating system
<Oluf> how is that possible??? (I will not do it, I am just
12 years old)
Of course, there are times the requests are beyond any helpers
comprehension.
<Opal> HELLO???? If ya see this irritating girl just type 1 PLS PLS PLS! :(
... or even the users themselves.
<MoRoN> shit. forgot what i was going to ask..
And then there is always the user who wants more than what is feasible.
[Vince] could you please join #sexceleb and give me chanel op?
Or just do not understand the channels policy of not helping with scripts.
<hershey> Then it's best you don't use a script, I think ??
<hershey> What do you need it for?
<MaBell> hershey...ummmm i forget..heheh but could find out..
<MaBell> hershey...i just like the funny things that are in there to say..
..but if you're lucky, you may be able to get some help even in the forbidden
areas.
<Crow> That would involve scripting. We don't do that
kind of help, but you might be able to figure it out on your own
More and more people wish to 'secure' their channel. Though there is no real solution, tales of such do exist.
<odesseus> I_like_u if you want to be takeover proof you got to have a web
page. think that is how it works.
#irchelp requires its helpers to have the best possible grasp of
IRC mechanics.
*** Mode change "-o+o DC--2 DC--2" on channel #irchelp by DC-itsme
And being ops themselves, they must know everything that is involved
in obtaining the little @ symbol (Or *, as the case may be).
<Shijin> so if I type /mode shijin +o --> mean I can become an operator
<wmono> shi yeah, but you can't do it on yourself
<wmono> err, hmm.
<wmono> I think I'll shut up now, one foot in my mouth is enough
..and the many ways to acquire it.
<Ashearer> i know this sounds stupid...but when i buy an irc server
acct from a shell provider....do i then become an ircop?
Though scripting questions are not answered, a helper cannot survive
without a strong grasp of IRC programming.
*** Mode change "-bb *!*ko@$left($rindex(. $bbb)*!*@*" on channel
#irchelp by Crow
A helper must stand tall even when faced with difficult questions.
<d0t> how do i have cybersex wiff someone?
<kylania> d0t, type, oh baby oh baby, just like than..
<d0t> is that all it takes???????
<d0t> oh baby.. oh baby.... like taht
<d0t> wait... let me go write this down
.. or suprising situations..
<Jolo> also note that both of you guys are invisible right now
...and to notice when a user is in dire straits...
*** shithead (root@32.st-louis-014.mo.dial-access.att.net) has joined channel
#irchelp
<shithead> hello
<shithead> I need help
<hershey> you do..
<hershey> you need to try /nick newnick
<TheRose> with a nick like that I can understand that you'd need all
the help you could get.
..or at least think he/she is.
<sinned> Lindy: when you right click on the menu buttons do they talk to you, or is it just me?
<Lindy_> sinned no I am not that far gone yet
<sinned> I am serious they say things like ouch, mooo, or quit that
<Lindy_> oh that
A helper must have the outmost confidence in his/her abilities.
<prysm-> boy, I'm good!
And fingers faster than thought itself.
*** _KielS has been kicked off channel #irchelp by Davin (iled)
But (s)he must know his/her limits, and direct the user to a department with more knowledge, if necessary.
<MHz> ask Gods
A helpers day is not all work of course. Without relaxing, they'd go nuts.
<JJay> I am a caterer, I hafta go to heaven, I have had my fair share of hell.
For example, helpers are always exploring new horizons.
<kylania> this is an odd day for me.. on ircnet, using a mac! (don't quote me,
I'll deny everything)
Or observing the intellectual conversations of the EFnet operators.
!cdy*! My uptime is better than your uptime
!brian2*! My load is better than yours
Or reading the #irchelp mailinglist.
>Gosh hard to believe I talk so little.... guess I gotta start helping
>more.
You were getting married and on your honeymoon that month, dork. You better
help less or Mrs. MHz will kick your ass.
Jolo
Or just getting off IRC altogether for a while.
*** Signoff: TheRose (The light at the end of the tunnell... may be ME! :))
...with love-ones found on IRC...
*** Apatrix (shadow@aurora.eexi.gr) has joined channel #irchelp
<drYad^> apa babe :)
<Apatrix> bleh
...to pursuit other endeavours.
<FreeSoft> wife is home - must go test vasectopmy...bbl...
<FreeSoft> <---gone
...such as TV.
-prysm- [#irchelp Ops] I end up getting my culture backwards...had to
find out what southpark was about after emory put a logo on the server
from it
-mendel- [ops:#irchelp] THOSE BASTARDS! THEY KILLED KENNY!
-prysm- [#irchelp Ops] who???
Of course, there are times when all the regular helpers are otherwise occupied.
At times like these the passing helpful soul holds the shop.
<K9> mush- u can start ur own channel ... the primary
reason for one's own channel is netsex ... but there are also other
useful reasons such as warez and stuff, also porno pix trades and
stuff .. i m3an itz lyk3 totally |<3\/\/|_ and stuff
Unfortunately, there are people who do not understand the importance
of a help channel and wish to disrupt its functionality.
* F9SDFHJK join #givehead to give head of course
*** F9SDFHJK has been kicked off channel #irchelp by mendel (original.)
Or those who have a different view on what the channel should provide.
<dumpling^> let's turn this channel into a sexchannel instead
At times like these, an op must resort to intimidation.
*** Mode change "+b *!*@*.no" on channel #irchelp by prysm-
<loffen> no!!
<loffen> sorry!!
*** loffen has left channel #irchelp
Of course, even the helpers can fail at times.
*** Mode change "+o Tottaz" on channel #irchelp by JJay
*** Mode change "-o Tottaz" on channel #irchelp by turtle
*** Mode change "-o Tottaz" on channel #irchelp by Davin
*** Mode change "-o Tottaz" on channel #irchelp by FreeSoft
*** Mode change "-o Tottaz" on channel #irchelp by Took
*** Mode change "-o Tottaz" on channel #irchelp by Ogopogo
*** Mode change "-o Tottaz" on channel #irchelp by Grf
-JJay- [ops]:well keep that one for the recoreds as my all time
screw up
*** Mode change "+b *!*tottaz@*.vpress.se" on channel #irchelp by
JJay
*** Tottaz has been kicked off channel #irchelp by JJay (kiss)
-> -OPS@#irchelp- [WallOps:#irchelp] You even kicked the wrong
person :)
-JJay- [ops]:cane we all say "really bad day" !? :}
But no matter how people leave #irchelp, they always leave
with warm wishes.
<mendel> good lick.
<mendel> AHH
<mendel> luck.
This assorted collection of logs of actions of questionable merit collected and publicly brought to display by
DemiShade.
No names have been altered to protect the innocent (they're all guilty
anyway. :)
Send subpoenas to
demi@iki.fi.